What If What I Want Makes You Sad
by Cat Cheshire
Summary: Elliot goes to the house of Fianna with Leo to meet new employers. But who he meet there? Her past is something he did not expect. Can Elliot make things right again? And keep his heart whole in the process? Elliotxoc Please R&R First story on FF :)
1. Chapter 1

**What If What I Want Makes You Sad**

Chapter 1

Morning. Not just any morning. Monday morning. And it's way too early for me to be awake. However, considering the fact that I have been awake the whole night should make this morning a little easier. But it doesn't. Riding the slow carriage on our way to Sablier I haven't been able to get not one minute of sleep. My friend and servant Leo on the other hand, had been sleeping since we started this voyage ordered by my father. We should meet the new orphans and personnel in the Sablier Orphanage he said. But this early hour is not the only reason for my foul mood. No, aside from this early hour, it's been raining the whole night, and it doesn't look like the weather is gonna get better any time soon. My mood gets a little better when I finally spot the orphanage. I try waking Leo, who wakes up the moment I touch him.

"Wha- What time is it?"

"It's 6am. We're here."

Leo looks out the window of the carriage and slowly takes in his surroundings. A small smile is on his face. He likes visiting the orphanage. I can't say that I don't like it, I'm just not that enthusiastic about it.  
Pulling up at the main entrance, we are greeted by the head prioress who rushes us into the main building. Right at the front door, we are greeted by a very young girl. About my age. Gentle green eyes, long wavy black hair… pretty. But why is she barefoot? Is she another orphan? I notice myself staring at her and quickly place my gaze on the flowers on the counter. Lilies… and tulips. It's a nice change, there aren't usually flowers in the orphanage.

"Do you like them lord Nightray?" Asked the prioress. I slowly nod, to which she continues "Amy picked them just yesterday with the little orphan girls." A name caches my attention "Amy?" She looks at me confused for a moment, but quickly smiles and says "Oh yes, Amy. I am so sorry, lord Nightray. Amy is our new worker. She came in just a week ago." She shows her hand to the small woman I was looking at just a minute ago. She shyly looks at me and smiles. Did I just see tears in her eyes? No. But they are red from crying. But something other came to my mind that I wanted to ask before anything else could be said. "Prioress, why is this woman barefoot?" She looks at me surprised "The little girl has got no shoes, and I didn't think that-" "Prioress, why is this woman barefoot?" I cut her off. I know how she treats the new staff. This woman has less privileges than then the orphans living here. "I will make sure to bring her some of my old clothes-" "That won't be necessary." I cut her off again "I will buy her some new clothes myself, after I have rested." With that said I looked at the girl, excused myself and left to my room. I needed the sleep. Leo will stay behind to finish any formality's. I know that it's rude of me to just leave him like that, but I will thank him when I wake up.

Fully rested I took Leo with me to the nearest city to buy some new clothes for Amy. While we were leaving I caught sight of Amy playing with the children outside. She was still barefoot, but what captured me the most was the look on her face. The look of kindness, happiness and pure love. I will never forget it. Seeing it felt like I was blind and my eyes saw a human face for the first time. I couldn't get her face out of my mind all the time while I was walking with Leo. And all dough I felt embarrassed for shopping for woman clothes, the memory of her face etched in my mind was making me feel strangely good.

"I noticed something, Elliot." Leo said on our way back to the orphanage. "What is it?" "When the prioress was talking about Amy, you made a specific point in calling her a woman, and not a girl…" I felt my cheeks blush. I haven't noticed it. Why did I call her a woman? "Really? I didn't notice. I guess I said it with no reason." I lied. "Oh really? Then how come you have been staring at her the whole time?" He asked teasing me "Or the fact that you're going all the way out by even buying her new clothes." I felt my cheeks redden even more "Well, I think that every woman…erm girl…ugh person…" I choke on my words, making Leo giggle at me "Arrrgh, think what you want." I ended the conversation with Leos face saying "victory". Usually I would fight with him on the matter, but now… I didn't know the reason for my actions myself. How could I fight him on it? All I know is that remembering her face made me blush again. Coming back to the orphanage, I was greeted by her opening the door to us. "Amy, these are for you." I handed her the bags of clothes we got her, including a pair of shoes with a smile. She looked at it slowly and then looked back at me. Her face was the thank fullest I ever saw on a person. "Thank you lord Nightray, but I can't… accept these… I didn't deserve them…" She said slowly with a kind smile on her face. I put a reassuring hand on her shoulder and smiled. "Please, think nothing of it. Every person needs shoes to walk in and clothes to keep them worm. It's not something you deserve, it's a right you were born with." Her smile grew wider as she understood my words. "Thank you lord Nightray, you are too kind. And also wise." She added the last part as she dashed away. I stood there bewildered, looking at her back slowly disappearing behind a corner. "Thank you lord Nightray, you are so kind and sooooo wise." Leo mocked me, making circles around me. "What was that supposed to mean?" I asked starting another fight. But without many thoughts, I knew that this fight as the last one well will be his victory. Because as much as I tried, I can't answer my questions.  
Why did I go to such lengths for her?  
Why did I call her a woman?  
Why did I care so much without even knowing her?  
Why can't I get her face out of my mind?  
And last, why did my heart stop when she smiled at me?


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, Lorena here! Thank you to all who have read my story.  
I'm here just to say that I will update weekly, promise **

**I do not own anything but my oc.**

Chapter 2

I ran to my room, hiding my blush and holding the bags of clothes he bought me. HE bought ME! Lord Nightray bought clothes to me, a lowly servant! I don't know if it was an act of kindness or an act of pity. But his eyes didn't look at me with pity. He looked at me with kindness. Oh, those eyes... Blue, like the cloudless sky. I swayed into my room, hugging the bags of clothes he gave me close to my chest. Just to note that my room wasn't really a room, it was a shack that wasn't used anymore, so they just threw in a small bed and closet. But I liked it. I popped on my bed and excitingly went through the clothes he got me. They were wonderful. I chose a black dress and a white-silver underburst corset over it and popped the white-silver shoes on. It was a wonderful change. My feet were warm and I wasn't underdressed anymore. Suddenly, the door to my room slammed open. "So, he got you new clothes... My, my, my you must feel special now… The prioress entered the room. She had a wicked smile on her face and she grabbed my chin roughly. „Don't think that he likes you now. He only did this because he felt sorry for you. A filthy street dog. You're nothing more than that. A filthy, dirty, uneducated child!" She threw me on the floor and I start to cry. I don't want to cry, the tears came by themselves. She left the room and I wiped my tears away. I'm stronger than her. I know that he didn't do this because of pity. I know who I am, and I'm not a street dog. I got up and went to my closet. In the smallest drawer, in the smallest corner, I pulled out my most treasured item. A purple choker we got from our mother. Me and my sister Lucy. Mine had a rose engraved on it. Hers an iris. I put it around my neck and allowed myself to wander in my fantasy. In my small daydream there was my sister, with me again, mother and father both healthy and alive, standing in the middle of a big garden, surrounded by children from the orphanage. We're all happy and together again. Laughter and cheer fills the air... But suddenly I'm pulled from my small daydream and reality hits me. Mother and father are both dead. My sister is who knows where. And I'm working in this orphanage. I was lucky, I got to work with children. Who knows where she is now. Lucy... my sister... Without me noticing, I started to cry again. That was the reason for my constant crying. Not the bullying or the lack of human respect. But my sister, the only family I have left, is lost to me. Every thought about her made me cry. Every thought about my mother and father made my heart break. But I know that I will find her. I will do everything I can to be reunited with my sister again. That said, my clothes straightened and with a smile on my face, I made my way out of my room, and back to work.

It was late. The orphans were slowly gathering in their rooms. I was walking slowly with Leo just to check at the children, when Leo decided to go and talk to the prioress. I heard some soft singing and looked in the room with the children. And there she was. Amy. She was sitting on the edge of a bed and patiently telling a story. I stud there leaned on the door and listening to her. Her soft voice echoed right through me.  
"Does Elliot Nightray need a bedtime story?" Leo whispered in my ear, mocking and startling me. "I'm not a child. I don't need bedtime stories." I said, walking away and avoiding his gaze. "Oooooooh! I know! You need Amy to tell you a bedtime story!" I stopped and blushed. I was annoyed. Why did Leo have the constant need to mention her name? And when did he become so similar to Oz Vessalius? "I don't need her for anything!" I said, a little too loud. But what I didn't notice was her standing right behind Leo. I looked at her, confused. I wanted to apologize, say something, but she just smiled sadly at me and ran past the two of us. I looked back at her and called at her to wait, but she was too fast. I ran looking for her, not even minding Leo, who was running right behind me. But soon I gave up, not even knowing what I would tell her if I found her.

Of course he saw me as nothing. What did I think? I was sure that what I saw in his eyes was kindness, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe I just wanted to believe that he was not like the other nobles I met in my life. But I'm not gonna let that insult get to me. I'm not. Still… why did I feel broken when I heard him say that? I was thinking about that the whole time I was slowly whipping off the dust at the small shelves in the orphanage. "Aww, poor girl's heart must be broken now." I heard the prioress giggle, laughing at me. I turned toward her. "What do you want?" She looked at me surprised. Yes, I never really did anything when she was bullying me, but I have to stand up for myself. Lucy would want me to do that. "I just wanted to know how you felt, now that you know that little lord Nightray feels nothing but pity for you. He sees you just as you are: an ant, an imbecile. Nothing more." I clenched my fist. "Oh really, that coming from a 25 year old woman with no husband and a drinking problem who needs to make other people feel bad just so that she can feel good about herself." She looked shocked at me. "Yeah, I thought so." I said and turned my back at her. I heard a small yelp and I turned around. And I saw some sight. Lord Nightray was holding the prioresses hand in the air, defending me from a hit she was about to throw. "I bet it sucks to be you right now." He said as he let her go. He looked at me, turned around and left. I smiled slowly to myself and ran in the other direction. Maybe he did see me as more than just an ant.  
I continued cleaning, recalling all the events that happened in one day. First meeting lord Nightray, then him buying me new clothes, than saying I'm nothing, then I finally stud up to the prioress, and then lord Nightray protects me from her. While lost in my thoughts I heard a piano play. I was mesmerized by it. I followed the music to the library. I opened the door, but unfortunate for me, the door made a loud creek and the music stopped. "Is someone there?" I heard a familiar voice say. Slowly I stepped into the rom. There wasn't much light in the library. Just a small lantern on the piano. It was still raining outside, so there wasn't any light form the windows. "It's just me lord Nightray. I-I'm sorry if I disturbed you." I said slowly. "No, no, it's alright. Come in, please." I stepped in and smiled back at him. My steppes were slow, but somehow they fit for the room. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier today. I really didn't mean it. Sometimes I say things I don't really mean. I'm sorry." He smiled gently. "It is alright. But why does a noble apologize to a lowly servant?" He looked surprised and then smiled at me. "You're a person." His answer was so simple, and yet explained everything. I stared at him for a while, until he turned his gaze back to the piano. Did I just notice a blush on his face? I know my face was red. I tried to divert my thoughts by looking at the books around me. "Do you know how to read?" I heard him ask. I was surprised by his question. But then I remembered that no one knew that my father was a baron and that I wasn't always a lowly servant. "uhh… No, I don't." I lied. "Did you ever want to learn how to read? I could teach you." I smiled at his generosity. "Well it would be nice to learn how to read. But I would rather that you teach me how to play Beethoven like you did just now." I turned around. He arched an eyebrow at me. "Beethoven? How does a girl that doesn't know how to read know that I was playing Beethoven?" I covered my mouth. Why am I so clumsy? "I-I'm sorry… I…" He stud up from his seat at the piano and walked towards me "Amy, do you know how to read?" I looked at him, scared. "Y-yes, I do…" He looked disappointed. "Then why lie?" He said it more like an accusing statement than a question. And with that he turned around and left. I felt so bad. He was helping me ever since he came, and I return the favor by lying to him. I'm so sorry lord Nightray.

The next morning I took the kids out in the garden to play hide and seek. It was fun and really easy because lord Nightrays servant Leo was helping me. He seemed to enjoy working with kids. When it was time for break, he sat with me and we talked. He seemed like an easy person to talk to. Later he helped me clean the table after dinner. I haven't seen lord Nightray the whole day, and that sadden me. "Amy, may I ask you something?" Leo's voice got me out of my thoughts "Yes Mr. Leo." He looked at me sadly "Please stop calling me Mr. Leo. It's just Leo." I smiled and nodded my head. "Aright. So then, what do you want to ask me, Leo." I said, making a point in his name "Why did you lie to Elliot about not knowing how to read?" I lowered my head. I will have to explain a lot of things to Leo.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello, Lorena here : )**

**Thank you all who have been reading my story so far, and thank you guest for your review : )**

**I do not own anything, just my oc-s**

Chapter 3

I sat outside waiting for Leo to return. He said that he wanted to help around the house while he was here. But I know that what he really wanted to do was talk to Amy. Amy. She was in my head the whole day. Why would she lie to me about knowing how to read? It's a stupid and pointless lie. A lie no one benefits from. What kind of stupid reason could she have? Just as I was thinking that, I heard Leos voice. Ha ran to me, and right beside him was the woman I was trying to avoid the whole day. Amy. Although it was pointless for me to avoid her. Because she certainly didn't avoid my thoughts. She looked sad. She didn't even look at me. While Leo looked disturbed. Somehow, concerned as well. "Elliot, there is something that you need to know. Amy's-" "Not interested." I cut him off. It was not like I didn't want to know. I wanted to. It was just my pride, and Leo knew it. Because he looked at me, and knew why I said that, but didn't get up, or try to leave them. Amy looked at me, her look determined. She suddenly fell to the ground, on her knees, and bowed her head. "I know I lied to you, lord Nightray, but please allow me to explain myself. I know I received a lot of kindness from you, I am just asking you for this one last chance." I looked at her. I can't keep up my pride with this woman. How did she do that? Destroyed my pride without me even noticing. Without me minding it. I slowly got up and knelt in front of her. I placed my hand gently on her head, and the other on her shoulder. "You may speak. And I will listen. But not like this. I want you to talk to me as equals. Not servant and master. Please rise." She looked at me. I stud up and offered her my hand. She slowly took it, and got up. Her eyes never left mine. She held my hand as she stud and I couldn't help but stare at those green orbs. Her eyes showed trust, strength, freedom, compassion, patience… I could go on counting, because her eyes had no end. They were so beautiful. Almost imaginary. "I hate to interrupt your cosmic moment, but we have a life story to tell." Leo said. I removed my hand from hers. How long did we stare at each other? I don't know how long, but I'm gonna get mocked for it for sure. I cleared my throat and sat down on the bench. Amy sat next to me and Leo next to her. He seemed absent somehow. "Amy, start talking, or we're never gonna lose this awkward silence." Leo said. She laughed a little. Then she looked at me. She placed both her hands in her lap, and looked down at them sadly. She inhaled deeply. "I know how to read. I also know how to knit, dance, and play a little basic of the piano. And reason for that is because…" She paused a little. "I come from a noble family." I was shocked. When I first saw her she was a barefoot woman. She is working as a servant. "I understand your shock lord Nightray. My mother and father were barons. But when I was very young, tragedy befell us. My mother and father got ill and soon died from illness. With no family left, my sister and I were sold and resold as slaves. Until a year ago, when they took us apart…" She stuttered. Her voice faded. There was silence. I looked at her hands. They were clenched together in a tight grip. A drop fell on her hand. I looked up at her eyes. She was crying. "I tried my best to find her. I ran from every place I was sold to. But it's been a year now… My…sister Lucy… Is all I have left… And now I don't even know if she's alive…" I was at a loss for words. She was nobility… And then she was sold and resold as a slave! How used and abused must she have been? And then to lose her sister... There's got to be a way I could… "So, what do you say Elliot? Where do we start looking for her sister?" I looked at Leo, he was reading my mind. "You've been feeling awfully generous lately. Looking for her sister-" "Is what we're gonna do." Amy's head snapped up. Leo got up, nodded and then left. Amy looked at me, and then suddenly fell to the ground again, on her knees and she held both of my hands. She kissed my hands, tears still streaming down her face. "Lord Nightray, I know that I haven't shown my gratitude to your kindness, and that I don't deserve this, but-" "Please, stop." I stud up and pulled her up, holding her hands tightly. She looked at me confused. I gently whipped her tears away with my thumb. "I will help you if you promise me one thing." She looked at me with hopeful but scared eyes. "Anything." She slowly whispered. I held her face in my hand and she slowly relaxed her head into my touch. "That I will never see those eyes cry out of sadness again." She looked at me surprised and then surprised me with a warm smile. "I promise." She whispered. I stud close to her and embraced her. At first she was scared, and maybe shocked, but I soon felt her arms move up, and her returning the embrace. "You're turning into mush Elliot." I jumped at Leos voice. "What did you say?" A silly fight between Leo and me started, until we heard a soft giggle. I turned around and saw Amy laugh. It was like a gift for me. She calmed down and looked at me with a smile. "I'm sorry lord Nightray, I will have to excuse myself now." She bowed to me and started walking away. "One more thing Amy!" She turned around. "Stop calling me lord Nightray. My name is Elliot." Through a smile she said yes and then went away. I was feeling content now. But I have a big task. Finding her sister.  
"So, what did you find out during your cosmic bonding with her, just now?" Leo asked mockingly. "I found out that I will pay you back big time"


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello, me again, here with a new chapter ****  
I would like to thank everyone who read this so far, and guest for the review. I will try to do my best to keep Elliot in character, thank you for the advice : )**

**Well, on to chapter 4!**

**I do not own Pandora Hearts**

Chapter 4

And so, my real smile returned. I decided that the word "Elliot" from now on will carry the meaning of hope in my heart. Because it was him who brought back hope to my heart, a smile to my lips and the shine in my eyes. I finished my chores quicker and better than usual; I helped the kids with even more heart than usual, if that was even possible. The dream of my reunited family was shinier now. But it had two new people in it now. Leo and lord Elliot. As I tucked the last child in, I sang a silent lullaby. I haven't done that in ages. My heart knew that things were looking up. I will find my sister.  
Now done with my chores, I ran to Leo's room. He said that in order to find Lucy, they need more information on who we are, and what she looks like. I calmed my heart before knocking on his door. I heard a silent come in and I entered the room. It was nice and cozy. The light was on. On a chair, leaned on a table sat Elliot. My hope. His back was turned to me, but the shadows of the light on his face made him look beautiful. "Welcome Amy!" Leo said a little too loud. I think he did that on purpose, because lord Elliot jumped up from his chair and clumsily looked at me. I feel like time stud still in his blue eyes. Once he saw me his lips moved into the most beautiful smile I ever saw. My heart stopped. Leo jumped up from his bed, ran to me and pulled me to the middle of the room and let me sit in a chair. Lord Elliot sat down as well and Leo sat next to me. On the small table were papers, plans of the city and a map of our country. Were they researching the whole time I was away? But I didn't tell them even my full name. "We looked all around, and found maps of this town and the smaller villages next to it." Said Leo looking at me. "Thank you… This means really more than you can think. I hope I can repay you someday." Elliot looked at me, and then took my hand in his. His hand was warm and felt inviting. "Amy, there is no need to thank us or repay us." "I just feel like I'm asking too much from you." He squeezed my hand tighter "No, Amy. Please, let me help you…" Silence came. I just couldn't say anything, but look into his eyes. My hope lies in those eyes. I could feel my heart doing something that was forbidden to me now. My heart was no longer mine. With that one sentence, with that one look, with that one touch… He took my heart. How did it take only 3 days for me to fall in love? It would be nice if he felt the same way… But I am no longer a noble. Now I am a servant. And as a servant I could never receive any type of love from him. I had to stop this. I let go of his hand and turned to Leo. He looked at me and smiled. "I know I'm asking a lot of you, but thank you for all your help." Leo nodded "Don't worry about it, but please, we need more information on your sister." "I know. My sister… We… Us…" I was having trouble finding my words. My heart was beating fast. My sister and I… It's been a long time since we were sold. We learned how to fight, steal, and survive on our own. But I can't tell them this now. "Start with your names, Amy." Lord Elliot suggested. I looked at him and decided to lock away my feelings. I had to find my sister. Feeling warm around him is nice, his look comforting, but… "My sister's name is Lucyania Lomeli." I finally said. Lord Elliot was looking at me. He recognized our last name. I saw that in his eyes. "You are a… Lomeli?" He seemed to stumble on his words, lost in thought on what that means. "Yes. My full name is Amy Lenore Lomeli." My father was a very famous swordfighter known among the nobles. Our whole family was famous for warfare. And we also made some of the best wine. Our wine orchards, after our family's deaths were given to one of the dukedoms. Knowing that, lord Elliot must know who sold us to this life we live now. "My father… He's the one who sold you to be a servant?" He seemed shocked. But it was true. Our land now belonged to the Nightrays. And it was Duke Nightray himself who decided to sell us. He didn't even look at us. And we were just two little girls who just lost their parents. I still remember the look in his eyes. I'm not afraid of saying that I hate him. His eyes were empty, his head up with pride, he was full of megalomania. Disgusting. I looked at lord Elliot. His hands were clenched into fists. He was shaking. His eyes were closed. He was angry. He was just about to explode. Why? Why was he so angry? "Amy, I think you should leave now. We'll talk again tomorrow morning." I look up at Leo. He was standing up, and he was pale. He looked distressed. I got up and excused myself. What was that just now? I got to my room and leaned on a wall. I had to get my act together. I was depressed and sad, but now I have found my strength again. I will be together with my sister, and we will run away together. No one will ever find us. Ad when we come back, we will take back the Lomeli ground and continue with our wine production. And then maybe I will spit duke Nightray in the face. Lord Elliot… I'm so sorry my heart, but he could never feel the same for me. I have to let him go. His kindness and warmth will be hard to ignore… What was I doing? When he embraced me, it felt like heaven on earth! Like nothing I've ever felt! But he is a Nightray, and I am now no one. There could never be anything between us… Maybe… Just for a little while… I will let myself dream about him… Just for a little while.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi guys! Valentine's day is over, and I'm back with Fluffy Elly!**

**I wanted just to clear something. I personally haven't read that much of PH. But I read enough to LOVE IT! This story started as a gift to my sister, who is in LOVE with Elliot, and she liked it so much that I just kept on writing. So, my question for you is: Do you like this story? Should I continue, or not? Should I add or change something?**  
**Well, that's all from me.**  
**Enjoy : )**

Chapter 5

My father. It was my father who forced them on this life of misery and despair! How dare he!? Why did he? He could have given them to the orphanage! I was mad! Crazy mad! And Leo was mad too, I could see it on him. But no, I didn't care. I was so black blindly mad! What possible reason could my father have to do such a horrible thing? I ran out of the room, slamming the door behind me. Leo stayed in the room; I didn't hear him follow me. I ran out in the garden. It was raining. Hard. I found the first tree I saw and slammed my fist into it. I kept on hitting the tree, not minding the splinters hitting my hand, not minding the blood on the tree, not minding the cold rain… I had to get out the anger, and mostly the guilt that I was feeling. Yes, I felt guilty. I felt like I should have done something! I should have known! I kept on slamming my fist, letting all my anger, frustrations, and most of all, sadness. Just as I was about to slam my fist the hardest, I felt a gentle and warm hand touch my upper arm. I stopped my fist just before it hit the tree. I lowered my head. I felt so sad. "Lord Elliot. Please…" I felt stunned. I thought it was Leo holding me back. But no. In the rain, out in the soaking cold, holding my hand and stopping my anger with just one warm simple touch was Amy. Amy Lenore Lomeli. The person who my family hurt so much. And I loved her. I really did love her. I turned around and looked at her. She was soaked wet in the rain, and I could swear her green eyes sparkled even more in the diamond rain. She took my hands and slowly got them to her lips. She was blowing warm air at them, trying to warm them. "Amy…" I said, and slowly released my hands from hers. I tangled my hands into her neck and hair. She was so warm, so gentle and so unbelievable. I tilted her head up to make her look at my face. Her eyes were searching mine. I wanted to kiss her. I needed it. I needed to feel more of the gentle yet strong woman standing in front of me. "Are you alright lord Elliot?" She whispered softly. "Amy, will you stay with me?" I knew that I couldn't ask her more. My family has hurt her too much. I know that my wish was selfish, but if I can't have her, then let her please stay as close to me as possible. Please, give me some of that warmth that I never had before. "I will, lord Elliot. As long as I can." Her hands found mine and she kissed them gently. God please, don't let her lips leave me! But they did. She held my hands and slowly brought me inside. She told me to sit down and bandaged my bloody fists. After she did that, she held them in her arms and kept blowing that same warm air into them. I just kept staring. Suddenly she looked at me. "So, lord Elliot, what do you want us to do?"

It was way past the deep and dark night now. We were sitting in the library. Amy was reading to me. Her voice was soft with every rhyme that she read. I honestly didn't listen too much of the story. I more listened to her voice. The way she changed her tune by how tense the situation in the book is, to the way she would glimpse at me, just to see that I'm listening. But I was taking in every bit of the moment. "For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo…" She sighed slowly and closed the book. "Will you read some more?" I pleaded. She giggled softly and handed me the book. "Why don't you read to me now?" I looked at her. Finally she was relaxed around me. I smiled back. "I have a better idea." I stud up and offered her my hand and she took it. Just like the lady she was in the first place. But up on thinking, she wasn't like the other court ladies I've met. She was strong, standing on her feet, and she wasn't afraid to say what she thinks. I led her to the piano standing in the middle of the library. I gestured for her to sit next to me as I sat on the piano. "Put your fingers like this." She looked confused at me but followed my fingers as I typed a few keys. She did the same, only a little slower. I showed her more and more, and she laughed and was more and more amused with every note we played. Before I knew it, I was laughing with her. This woman was so amazing. She playfully turned and started to play on my side of the piano. I laughed and started to tickle her, her laugh was just so addictive. Suddenly she lost her balance and fell directly in my arms. She tried to move, but I didn't let her go. I couldn't. I embraced her with all my strength, as if she could be ripped out of my grasp in mere seconds. My feelings only got stronger when I felt her hands embrace me. We were like that for who knows how long, but for me, even if we were embraced for years, it would still not be enough. It would still be too short. "Elliot, play for me." I heard her whisper. I noticed her use only my name with no title. It was the most passionate thing I have ever heard. I wanted her to repeat my name over and over again in that same way. She slowly removed herself from my arms and looked into my eyes. I thought about what melody to play. But then I looked at her and decided to follow my heart. I will play my feelings on this piano, for her. So, I started to play. It was a soft and slow, yet strong melody. So I played and played, until I felt something lean on my shoulder. It was her. Her eyes were closed and she was listening to my music. I'm the human playing a lowly melody, and there's an angel resting on my shoulder, listening to my music. And no time and space existed.


	6. Chapter 6

HI GUYS! Man, I was gone for long! Well, I'm back, and here's another chapter. Two more, and I'm done with this ark. Well, enjoy, if you will

I do not own much. Pandora Hearts is one of the things I don't own

Chapter 6

A few days of looking for my sister passed without any result. We would wonder from place to place and ask people all around. No one knew. All the time we spent searching, my heart was beating secretly for the noble man standing right next to me. After a week of looking, I was starting to get tired of finding nothing. We sat in a park, with lord Elliot looking at a map of the city and Leo walking in circles around us. It was honestly making me nervous that I was sitting so close to lord Elliot again. Since that night, I locked my heart away. It belonged to him but at the same side it could never be his. I looked at Leo as he abruptly stopped walking and stud listening. He seemed focused on something. "I'll be back soon; I'm going to check for something." He said and dashed off before lord Elliot had a chance to say anything. I looked at the floor. I was alone with him. Again. And my heart, my arms, my soul was screaming to hold him. To be close to him. The way we were that night when he played for me. "Do you think we will find her?" I asked, trying to change the subject in my head. "We will. Just don't stop believing." I looked him in the eyes. "I believe in you." I said. His eyes showed surprise. But soon changed to the warmest look I have ever seen. It filled me with so many mixed feelings that I felt myself drown in them. I lost all air in my lungs. Music. My focus was shattered at the sudden appearance of music. Looking around ourselves, we noticed street performers playing music. I go up and walked to them. Their music was happy and it filled me with joy. I noticed myself giggle. "They're good." I turned to see lord Elliot standing right behind me. I turned to him and looked him in the eyes. He took my hands in his. "May I have this dance?" I smiled but pulled away from him quickly. I felt my cheeks redden a little. "I'm sorry. I don't dance." I said a little embarrassed. "Me too. But, it's just you and me." He said trying to take my hands again. "No, no, no, I'm sorry, you don't understand. I mean I can't dance. I don't know how." He looked at me confused but his face lit up with a smile quickly. "Well, then I'll show you how." He came even closer now. He held one of his hands on my waist and with the other he put my hand on his shoulder. I looked on the floor, at our feet. I was afraid that I will step on his shoes. "No, not like this." I heard him whisper. I felt his fingers on my chin, lifting my head to look into his eyes. "Look into my eyes, and just relax. Forget about everything else. Just listen to the music." Well, that will be easy. Looking into those eyes I could forget about the universe, not just what's around me. And so slowly we danced. I noticed how it wasn't even hard. Just following him and looking into his eyes. I felt my heart escape my chest again. I saw it then. I would die to stay in those arms like this. I would die to listen to his voice. I would die to look into his eyes. I would die to feel his lips. I would die to look at his face. I would die to feel his warmth. I would die for him. Was it just me, or did we get even closer? Did I not feel empty knowing that he will never love me the way I love him? No, I didn't feel empty. I felt almost whole standing here with him. There's only one person missing to make this moment perfect.

I heard screams, I'm sure of it. Elliot and Amy are too lost in thinking about how to make out with each other; they probably didn't even notice it. I ran, and soon the scream got louder. I got to a flower shop. I ran into the shop and saw a man harassing a girl. I did the first thing that popped into my mind. I tapped his shoulder. "Excuse me." I said as he turned to me. I smacked my fist across his face. As he fell on the floor, the girl fell on her knees and breathed out heavily. "That's not how you treat a lady." He tried to stand up, but I kicked him out of the house. "Now run away, bastard." I turned to the girl who was face down collecting the flowers that fell on the floor. She was trying hard to stare on the floor, her long, black, straight hair falling all over the floor, hiding her face. I decided not to ask anything, but to kneel down and to help her collect the flowers on the floor. As I got some of them I stretched my arm to her to give her the flowers. "Here." She shook her head, still face down. "Please, don't be afraid to look at me." She slowly and shaking turned her face up. I removed some of her hair from her face. Her face was teary, swollen and beat up. She flinched as I touched her purple cheek. Who could have beat up a small girl like that? I looked into her eyes and it hit me. I knew those green eyes!


	7. Chapter 7

**On with the story we go :) **

**I do not own Pandora Hearts**

**Chapter 7**

"It's you…" I slowly stuttered on my words as she moved away from my touch and looked at me slightly confused. My face shone over with happiness. I found her! And she was… I couldn't find my words. "It's you!" She moved away even more, crawling on the floor. I noticed that I scared her. She must have been harassed, beaten, used and abused to the point of homophobia. "Lucyania… Don't be afraid of me." She stopped. "What did you call me?" She slowly stuttered. I moved closer to her, got up and extended my arm to her. She took it and slowly got up. While she was getting up I noticed her tattered and destroyed clothes. I noticed even more bruises on her hands. I noticed hidden fire in her eyes. "Lucyania. Your sister has been looking for you. Please, come with me." She wanted to, but stumbled backwards, afraid to leave. "Take my hand. You're safe now."

We danced followed by the music. My eyes were locked at his. Why? Why is the world so cruel that it creates love that cannot be shared? Can I somehow take a golden feather and rewrite the rules of this world? I suddenly heard Leo's voice. It got me out of my trance and I turned to look at him. And what I saw created tears in my eyes. In this park, surrounded by music, twilight sun and flowers, stud my sister. Just like in my dreams. I didn't care anymore. I promised to Lord Elliot that the tears that I cry will be the ones of happiness. And now I let them fall. My tears of happiness, joy and fulfillment! I cried as I hugged my sister. I cried as I repeated her name over and over. I cried as I looked into her eyes, so identical to mine. I cried as I hugged Leo screaming thank you. I cried as I again hugged my sister and my world was complete.  
"You peace of garbage! GET BACK HERE!" I turned around just in time to see an old fat man grabbing the hand of my sister and pull her away. No. No way I was gonna let this old fart take her and beat her like she is now. This time I fight back. But before I could do anything, Elliot was in front of me and held the man's arm tightly. So tight that the man released my sisters hand out of pain. I went and held her behind me. She can fight, but she's too weak and beaten now. "This woman is not yours anymore." Elliot's eyes were screaming bloody murder. I stared at him amazed. His back seemed like the strongest shield. And his eyes were the strongest fire. "You punk, who do you think you are!?" He tried to attack Elliot, but Elliot swiftly dodged his attack and the fat man fell losing his balance. "I am Elliot Nightray and you are nothing but a molester who beats women so he can feel strong! Now get lost!" Elliot said with such fury. He turned around and looked at me. "Let's go back. You need to rest and…" "She desperately needs a bath." Added Leo. Yes, she was dirty. She looked at herself and stared laughing. We just started to walk away, when I heard the fat man get up and run after us. This time I'll finish you. I swiftly turned around and knelt down, kicking him in the gut with my leg. He fell to the floor holding his stomach. "Don't you ever come after us again!" I knew who this man was. He was into buying women and then using them as slaves. And punching bags. He probably beat Lucy up this bad because she was fighting back. I turned to keep walking but was met with Elliot's and Leo's surprised eyes. And Leo's mouth was slightly opened. I ignore them and hug my sister again. We are together now.

I yawned as I was waiting for Leo to say goodnight to Amy and Lucy. It was deep in the night now, and after all the fighting with the prioress to let Lucy stay, I was honestly tired. But seeing the smile on Amy's face made it all worth it. I felt myself smile looking at them. But then I felt myself get sad. I sighed and turned around. I could never belong in that world. I am a Nightray. The name I was so proud to bear was now somehow dirty. I felt guilty looking at those sisters and thinking what they had to go through. As I thought about that my sadness turned into anger. Now I wasn't tired anymore. I just wanted to let all my anger out. I ran back outside. Was it gonna rain again? I started to question the honor of my family. Mostly my fathers. Was he so set on getting the Lomeli wine orchards that he coldheartedly sold two innocent little girls? Was my father that cruel? I felt an angry tear get to my eye. I'm not a man who cries. What should I do? How should I look those sisters in the eyes now and apologize for all they've been through? I clenched my fists. Was this anger or despair?  
And there were two gentle and fragile arms holding me by heart. Embracing me without me seeing it.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I was tired. True, my body was too bruised for me to fall asleep. I was in my sisters nightclothes now, after I finally had a bath and some food. Leo was right; I really did desperately need a bath. I heard a piano play. This late at night? Who could be playing? I followed it upstairs to the library room. I knocked on the door; I wouldn't want to be rude. But I really want to meet the person playing. "Yes?" I was surprised to hear Leo's voice. I entered the room. "Oh, Lucyania, why aren't you asleep?" I slowly shook my head smiling. I think he understood why I couldn't sleep, because he didn't ask anything anymore. "How come you can play the piano?" I asked, breaking the silence. "What do you mean?" He asked me confused. "I… I thought servants weren't allowed to do such things." He looked a little more at me, but then smiled a generous smile. "I'm not that much of a servant to Elliot. I'm his valet. He looks at me like his equal." I stepped closer and sat on the floor next to the piano, leaning my hands and head on the piano chair Leo was sitting in. "Must be wonderful to have someone as equal as a friend." He looked down at me. "Rise, Lucyania, you are not my servant." He said it more serious than anything I've heard him say before. I smiled at him and shook my head. "I may not be your servant, but that doesn't mean that I don't look up to you. You are my savior."

How was she so easy on words? I was a little mad at her for kneeling down next to me, instead of sitting with me. But her words were said in such a strong manner, I couldn't say anything back or change her mind. So what can I do? Those green eyes were looking at me with such gentle warmth. But I saw shattered dreams and destroyed hope in them. "Move over." I told her. She removed her hands from the chair and looked at me confused. I got up and sat down on the floor next to her, leaning my back on the piano. "If you won't rise to sit with me, then I will kneel right next to you." She stared at me. She seemed to need some time to understand my words and to see that I don't want to be anyway above or under her, but her equal. I wanted to see her world. "Thank you…" She whispered. I sighed. "There is nothing you need to thank me for." She smiled and slowly nodded. "There is. You saved me when I sank the lowest. For that I owe you all the gratitude in the world." I reached out my hand and cupped her face. She seemed to move into my touch; however, before I touched her, she flinched. I felt sad. She shouldn't be afraid of me. I don't want her to be afraid of me. "Lucyania, please, tell me about your life." I begged her. She sighed sadly. "No, Leo. My past is my own, and it's not something I wish to share." She looked away and then through the window. "It's going to rain." I reached out my other hand and pulled her to my chest. I didn't know what I was doing, I just followed my instincts and somehow, no matter what I did, it was natural. She didn't tense up. No, she moved closer and eased into me. She embraced me as well. I was surprised by that. I looked down at her and saw her eyes closed. I relaxed and soon, my eyes closed as well. Thank you Lucyania for opening my heart.

I looked down at the hands embracing me. "You never let me say thank you." I listened to Amy say those words into my back. "I never asked for any gratitude." I sternly and harshly replied. I felt sorry right away. She has nothing to do with my anger, why should I lash out at her like that? "You didn't." She replied softly. "But then, you did more than save my sister. You opened the sky for me." I turned to her, breaking the strong and warm embrace. Right away, I felt regret for losing her touch. But I was gonna get more. I wanted that warmth so bad. I was desperate for it. Desperate for her. I looked into her eyes. "You did more for me than I could ever repay you back." She slowly added. I was no more angry. She reached out and whipped that single tear from my face. "I am so sorry. For all the pain you felt. For all the sorrow, hopelessness…" She shushed me with a finger pressed on my lips. How could she believe in me so much? How could she have so much faith in me? Is that why she will be in my heart forever? A drop. Two drops. Three drops. Rain. We were like this once. And then I had a wish. A wish so strong, I just couldn't ignore it now. I needed it like air to breathe. She was looking at me. Into my eyes. And she knew. She knew about my wish. She shared it with me. I stepped closer and tightly embraced her body to mine. The pouring rain made us even closer. Please stay with me like this. And with that one wish I kissed her. Her lips were so soft and warm. She was so enchanting. I felt her heartbeat through our wet clothes. I felt her shiver. I held her even tighter, as she moved a hand through my hair. And I kissed her again. And again. We didn't stop. We couldn't stop. I felt like our souls collided. I felt like the world and the rain stopped. No. Not the rain. The rain only got us closer. I couldn't make myself break away from her kisses. In those small moments in which we stopped just to breathe, I heard her whisper my name. "Elliot…" In that same and passionate way she did before. Say it again. Say my name again. And she did, as if she could hear my thoughts and understand my wishes. She whispered my name again. And again. And again. And if she could understand my wishes. If she could understand what I want. Then she knew that I wanted her. Always. Right beside me. Like this. With no air between us. Just us. That is what I wanted…

I looked for Lucy and found her sleeping in Leo's arms. I slowly shook her awake. "Is it time yet." I nodded sadly. "Why do all dreams end with a sad wakeup call?" She asked as she got up. We took our stuff and quietly ran to the horses. The rain was still pouring and I was a little scared. And broken. But I knew that this is the best. For all of us. And Lucy agreed. That is why I set my heart free. And this is where I will leave it. With Elliot. I'm sorry Elliot, I know what you want. But what if what I want makes you sad? More than anything, I wish to be with you. But first, my sister and I and your father have some unfinished business. And now. We have a hard battle in front of us. And we will be ready. I looked over at Lucy, who was now on her horse, petting it to be quiet. I look back at the house of Fianna one last time. I will miss those children. As I think that I might never see his eyes, I feel myself starting to cry. But no. I won't cry. I'll keep my promise to him. I will not cry unless it's tears of happiness. I looked at Lucy again, who left her heart in the arms of the man she slept in. In her eyes I saw that we can do what we set out for ourselves. We will be together. I find it hard to speak. I looked up at the small red light. The sun is rising. We nodded to each other and loudly started to run. The horses were screaming. We felt fire on our feet as we run to regain what is ours. As we run for our lives.

They left. They were gone. Amy and Lucy ran away.


End file.
